I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
