Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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