I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize