So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
