Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish I only lived at night.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
