I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
