The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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