youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So many bounce houses so little time
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
