Apparently you make a good broom.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
