oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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