Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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