Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
