Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
