I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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