Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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