I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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