That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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