I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
