if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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