Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
