I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
