i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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