i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
