It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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