You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
