i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
