Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
