she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
that's an acceptable place to lick
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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