my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
