Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
