Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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