What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
