What did we do last night that was yellow?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He? As in you personified your dick?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
