There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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