She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
