Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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