I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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