If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
