so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
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I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Found the puke drawer
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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