so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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