im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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