Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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