Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
