Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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