Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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