i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
