My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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