gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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