I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
