put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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