porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
