Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
