hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
