He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize