3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
