I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
