shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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